Daily Advice

I will keep track of the tips, advice, and suggestions I pick up or learn as I go.

1. Skype is cheaper than a cell phone.  However, skype requires the internet, which requires electricity; so in the abscence of either, it is best to keep the cell phone.

2. If you eat something crunchy in your rice, it is likely dirt.  If you view this as extra nutrients, it makes it easier to eat.  It is the small pebbles you have to be careful of.

3. Bed nets are really hot, but the first time you go without one will be the last night you try.

4. Download movies to watch in your freetime BEFORE you come to Tanzania.  A download can take 6 days.

5.  Never refuse bottled water.  Always refuse (politely) a dirty glass of water, unless you like regretting things later.

6. Always travel with toilet paper.

7. Don't get Malaria.

8. Be patient.

9. Carry a flashlight to dinner.  Otherwise, when the power shuts off (and it will always shut off if you forget the light), you will be walking back in the dark.

10. The Swiss Army Knife should stay in your pocket.  You never know when you will need to saw some sticks, trim your nails, remove a splinter, slay a dragon, open a wine bottle, rip the seems out of your pants, widdle a spear, pick your teeth, tighten a screw, or just want to drink a Pepsi.

11.  If you are going to eat goat with the Masaai, you'd better learn the saying: "He with the shortest arm goes hungry."

12.  Don't get malaria again.

13.  Show up for a ferry 2 hours early.  Never plan to do anything on the day of a ferry journey, except ride the ferry. 

14.  Never trust a street haggler.

15.  SCUBA diving makes everything better.

16.  Mojitos make final exams easier.

17.  If you get into a taxi which was arranged for you, remember to always check with the driver that he actually knows where you are going.

18.  Always get phone numbers from taxi drivers.  Never give them yours.

19.  Never fly through the Zanzibar airport.  People get mugged in the bathrooms and twenty bucks gets you past security.

20.  As with German, a beer makes your Swahili better.  However, the second has no effects, and the third starts to make it worse.  By the fourth you may as well start trying German.

21.  When on a safari, never use a handbreak.  You may need to flee from charging elephants in a hurry.
22.  Don't piss off vervet monkeys.  They climb a tree and piss back at you.  Literally.

23.  Like with people, use extra caution when aproaching mating wildlife.

24.  When walking at night, do so at a brisk pace.  Because East African culture dictates that everything must be done without hurry, anyone following you to mug you will really stick out.

25.  Always look down before getting out of the truck.  There are always two things that can ruin your day which may be waiting below your door: snakes and shit.